Things always seem to be hectic
this time of the year. Not sure if it is
the changing of season from winter to spring but the months of March and April
always keep me buried under a myriad of problems from home fixer-up moments, to
work headaches, to the ever enjoyable, “There’s too many TV shows on my
DVR.” No matter, writing during this
time of the year involves a great deal of creativity, and that’s simply to free
up the actual time to sit down and write.
I am finishing my next release
Horror 101 (yes you have seen the book cover on my main site
www.latenighthorrors.com as well as
to the right on this very blog) and that book will finally see the finish line
by June.
And of course my fourth book
(top secret) is also about twenty percent complete which should have it
available before the end of calendar year 2014.
So, with all that writing my blog naturally tends to be overlooked.
But the one addition I wanted to take care of
was to include my review for
Godzilla:
King of the Monsters! complete with some nice photos.
My collection
There Goes Tokyo!
has been selling quite well and I’m seeing some nice reviews and getting some
pleasant emails which makes it very rewarding.
Even though this review is the one that’s free to read on any of the
major ebook sites I wanted to include it to my site for one simple reason –
Godzilla (2014)!
The new movie looks incredible but you must
pay tribute to the granddaddy that started it all and that journey begins in 1954 with the original. And of course if you enjoy this trip down memory lane (or if you're new to Kaiju Eiga) then I endorse you purchasing my book and experiencing all the original thrills and excitement of the entire Showa Era of giant monster movies!
GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS!
“If
he saw a monster, he’s had too much sake.”
If you’re at all interested in
Kaiju Eiga, then it’s time to start our journey. We really should begin with the granddaddy of
them all: from Toho studios comes the 1956 classic, Godzilla: King of the Monsters! The exclamation point is mandatory. I mean, this is Godzilla we’re talking
about…Godzilla: King of the Monsters! Now,
right off the bat I know there will be fanboys out there crying, “No Mike, Godzilla came out in Japan in 1954! And, the movie was called Gojira!”
If you’re that person I will now direct you to go back a few pages and
immerse yourself in this book’s well written introduction.
And for the
rest…we proceed…
Godzilla: King of the Monsters! is the
birth place of Kaiju and the starting point of the Showa Era which is the focus
of this book. It is also a great movie,
but, oddly, the one Godzilla film I was not a fan of as a youth. After being deluged with many of the later
Godzilla movies, this film was quite a shock to my young brain when I tuned in
only to be greeted by an unsettling, somber movie delivered in the equally
unsettling visual art form known as black and white! Seriously, the most vivid memory I have of my
first exposure to this movie was walking across the living room, hitting the
side of our TV, and then turning the dial (yes, I am that old) back-and-forth
to different channels to make sure the color setting wasn’t
malfunctioning. Had I been a few years
older I most likely would have followed this up by picking up the phone and
dialing our local WXYZ station and informing them, “You are accidentally
showing the four o’clock movie in…(ack)…black and white! Fix this promptly or I shall ask my parents
to remove our antenna so we can stop watching all of your free programming!”
Those problems of
a young child in the Midwest pale when compared to the symbolic message
displayed on my television as the people of Japan rightly dealt with the atomic
devastation of their country by focusing on the aftermath and the subsequent
birth of a giant irradiated prehistoric lizard.
Over repeated viewings, it became obvious to me how US filmmakers
inserted American actor Raymond Burr throughout the Japanese movie. I’m guessing if this version ever aired in Japan that nation soon had a new source of
national derision as America
soiled their powerful message movie with a second-class actor. Although in 1998 when Roland Emmerich and
Mathew Broderick helped deliver the much hated US
remake of Godzilla, the nation of Japan could not unite with hatred
to different American filmmakers and actors
Eighty-four
minutes of celluloid history created a franchise that would last forever (and
give birth to at least one great book whose sole purpose is admiration for
Kaiju Eiga).
The movie begins with
reporter Steve Martin (not so much the wild and crazy guy variety) stopping off
in
Japan.
Luckily, he brought his cigarettes and pipe,
since our main protagonist will spend more time smoking than having a
participatory role in the action and destruction that take place all around
him.
At varying spots throughout the
movie Martin does have time to contact his editor at the United World News, in
Chicago, to relay some of
the information he’s recorded.
I view these
moments much like in an episode of the classic television show Kolchak: The Night Stalker when Carl
Kolchak would contact his editor with stories about vampires, werewolves, and
mummies. Inevitably his editor would
blow up at him and tell him he was out of his mind. Here, though, Martin seems to carry more
clout, although his reporting and interviewing skills leave a lot to be
desired. It’s doubtful his skills are
showcased in any college-level journalism courses. Steve Martin is no Woodward and Bernstein,
but he’s at least confident enough in his own abilities to deliver lines like,
“Terrible sea of fire engulfs all…sign it ‘Steve Martin.’” You want to talk about balls the size
of…well, Godzilla. Martin always makes
it clear to the editor that, “Crazy shit is going down and I stand by my story,
so be sure my name is attached at all times.”
I’m guessing the Pulitzer that year was pretty much locked up after the
debris was cleared and people could actually find the Pulitzer.
Martin is in Japan
for a social visit. Impeccable timing,
since Godzilla will be dropping by shortly for his own social visit. While at this point the people of Japan
don’t know who Godzilla is, everyone knows Steve Martin (and not just because
he sings that King Tut song). Steve is in town to visit his good friends,
Dr. Yamane, Emiko, Ogata, and the semi-mysterious Dr. Serizawa. Of these good friends, none appear to want to
share actual screen time with Martin in fact, they regularly face away from the
camera only allowing us views of the backs of their heads. Eye contact and line of site be damned, even
when a meaningful conversation is expected.
Again the fanboys will be shouting, “American filmmakers butchered this
movie and edited Raymond Burr into it!
That’s why nobody wants to be seen talking to him.” I get it, but it’s worth mentioning because
once you know what to look for during the movie, it does add a new level of
both humor and appreciation because for technology in use in 1956, the
filmmakers did a decent job with the inserts.
No sooner has
Martin pulled out his pipe in the land of the Rising Sun than a bevy of cargo
ships burst into flame. Not only do they
catch fire, they sink like a bowling ball, ignoring all scientific theories of
buoyancy. Martin gets wind of the story
and heads to Odo Island just as a powerful ocean storm
strikes. To give you an idea of the
intensity of this typhoon, it’s strong enough to interrupt Martin as he lies in
his tent-bed smoking. The storm brings
rain, wind, and lightning, but there seems to be an added bonus. Loud thundering pounding footsteps? Perhaps a roar? Martin’s coverage of the storm sums it up as,
“It was more than rain, wind, and lightning.”
Notice he wasn’t signing his name to this reporting. Even Steve Martin isn’t confident enough to
start speculating in his column about what was lurking within that storm. Clearly he remembers that old rule from
Journalism 101: you need proof.
We’re now about
twenty-eight minutes into the movie. The
controlling interest at Toho knew it was time for a reveal, lest the audience
think this movie was merely about casual reporting, freak island storms, and
boating disasters. The occupants of Odo Island
run from their village up into the mountains, where they are greeted by
everyone’s first view of Godzilla: King of the Monsters! People scream, people run, and Steve Martin
knows that he’s stumbled onto the story of a lifetime. “It’s big and terrible and more frightening
than I thought possible.” Trivia experts
will recognize this line as the original one uttered by Roy Scheider in Jaws, until consultants informed him
that the line was actually supposed to be, “You’re gonna need a bigger
boat.” Not sure how Roy made that goof, but it’s a good story.
It’s clear the
United World News is sitting on a big scoop.
The movie handles this well, in spite of Godzilla being – a man in a
rubber suit (full respect to that “man” because the suit weighed over two
hundred pounds), using solid editing to enhance the sense of awe and menace of
the surroundings.
Luckily, the
Japanese military isn’t really interested in explanations. They immediately set their fleet into full
action and depth charge the hell out of the ocean where Godzilla was last
sighted. The montage footage is taken
from a military film reel. It made me
curious whether it was from World War II or simply film of naval exercises but
I wasn’t curious enough to research the matter, I mean, I’m watching Godzilla: King of the Monsters! Turns out, footage was merely naval
exercises filmed by the movies director Ishiro Honda
One doctor,
however, states that his fear is that Godzilla was spawned from Spandium-90 and
the repeated use of H-Bombs. That’s
pretty much the only acknowledgement of this sort of thing in the American
version of the movie: however, I’m betting the Japanese version, Gojira is littered with references to
the amounts of American-induced atomic radiation that contaminated their
country. Keep in mind, he wasn’t
subtitled as “King of the Monsters!”
in the Japanese version, so contrary to popular belief American filmmakers did
bring some positive elements to the Godzilla franchise.
After this small
bombardment the military has clearly won and Godzilla is dead. So Steve Martin heads back to Tokyo to reconnect with
his friends. There’s eye-patch wearing
Dr. Serizawa, the typical scientist who only has eye for his work. Serizawa has overlooked beautiful Emiko for
too long, and she’s drifted toward strong-fellow Ogata. In a last-ditch effort to win back Emiko’s
love, Serizawa tosses a small disc-invention into a fish tank, but instead of
sighing in awe and appreciation for his work, she screams in horror. The effect of this disc is never displayed,
however it’s dangerous enough that Serizawa wears gloves while he handles the
device. Except then he doesn’t remove his gloves, not even when Emiko
runs into his arms and he protectively holds her.
Now, I have had
extensive Blood Borne Pathogen training, and I know for a fact that in a
laboratory you need to take those gloves off and dispose of them in a proper
fashion. Otherwise scientists would be
tossing devices into fish tanks and then eating a sandwich or taking a piss,
and then who knows what’s ending up in their Albacore or on their glans? Perhaps Emiko left Serizawa after his
demonstration of poor laboratory safety methods?
Meanwhile, there’s
a lot happening in Tokyo,
but nothing that Martin can really lock his reporting chops into. We mainly see him smoke his pipe and long for
a real juicy story that’s going to make this entire trip worthwhile and allow
him to write it off as work related
on his taxes.
Godzilla solves
all of Martin’s problems.
I know you’re
saying, “Wait a minute Mike, you said the military killed Godzilla.” Yeah, well turns out I was wrong. Because if they had succeeded then Godzilla: King of the Monsters! would
only be about forty-eight minutes long.
That would be unacceptable, and definitely not worthy of the exclamation
marks we are required to use when referring to the movie.
So, one night
Godzilla lumbers out of Tokyo Harbor: he’s decided it’s time to show Japan
who’s the new boss. Godzilla destroys
some dock area and a few power lines.
Then, in a colossal mess of poor scheduling, the Japan Rail train
happens to drive past, and Godzilla pays homage to King Kong by assuring the
destruction of any form of mass transit that passes within his reach. Godzilla didn’t make the rules, but damned if
he doesn’t live by them.
This is a nice
scene, and works surprisingly well, thanks to the black-and-white imagery. The shadows help hide wirework, and Godzilla
is pretty scary, being a cross between a Tyrannosaurus Rex and a fire breathing
dragon. Although people mock “men in
monster costumes,” the scene works because it has realism in movement and
destruction that the stop motion effects of King
Kong could not deliver. The Godzilla
presented in this movie reaches a level of fright that future versions were
unable (or unwilling) to attempt.
Here’s the problem
now facing Japan
in the movie: they didn’t get the memo that they are dealing with Godzilla: King
of the Monsters! The military is
mobilizing again, and this time thrilling music accompanies the
procession. I get excited when I hear
that music, but Kaiju tend to become equally infuriated thus guaranteeing
destruction levels to match the bass (or as Spinal Tap would say, “Turning it
up to ’11.’”) Once those tanks and jets
are all in position, Godzilla rises out of the bay again to teach another harsh
lesson to the Land of the Rising Sun.
“A prehistoric
monster the Japanese call Godzilla is walking out of
Tokyo Bay.
He’s as tall as a thirty-story
building!”
That’s Steve Martin handling
the play-by-play as some serious shit goes down.
Had Blue Oyster Cult been formed in 1956,
this would have been the ideal time for the lyrics “Oh no!
There goes
Tokyo!” to be playing in the background.
Much like when Arnold Schwarzenegger stopped
off at a Los Angeles police station in
The
Terminator, Godzilla isn’t fucking around anymore [Note: Spoiler alert:
More than “thirty cops” are killed by Godzilla.]
There’s stomping, smashing, and the coup de
grace when Godzilla huffs out some acid, followed by his trademark radioactive
breath.
Martin’s on the microphone,
“Neither man nor his machines can stop this creature!”
Probably not his most descriptive reporting,
but I’m sure the editors at the United World News will punch it up with some
adjectives to sell more copies.
Godzilla’s not
done by damn sight. As the fire and
explosions spread across town, a whole gaggle of Japanese reporters and
photographers have massed together on a radio tower to see who can get the best
view of this disaster. Luckily, Godzilla
aims to help each of them score primo pictures and first-hand accounts. In what is arguably the best-ever
illustration of how flash photography provokes animals, Godzilla brings down
the entire tower! There’s a neat
on-board viewpoint that shows the tipping and eventual plummet of each of these
screaming newshounds as they meet their death.
If these eager beavers had followed the lead of veteran Steve Martin
they might have avoided Godzilla’s wrath.
But, wait! Before Martin can reach for his next tobacco
fix, Godzilla has turned his insatiable anger on the very building where our
American eye-witness is relaying all of these exciting details. “This is it, George! Steve Martin signing off from Tokyo, Japan!” And with those heroic words the ceiling
collapses on Martin.
With the American
down for the count, Godzilla has time for one final bridge flip, delivered in
real “fuck you”-style to the people of Japan. I think everyone can agree that this was
totally unnecessary.
The survivors of
this rampage are taken to over-crowded medical facilities where they are first
tested with Geiger counters before being given a space on the floor. Steve Martin passes his radiation test and
meets Emiko who (in a painfully awkward exchange at 1:01:00) decides to fill in
the details of what, exactly, Dr. Serizawa was up to all those scenes back,
when he dropped his device into the fish tank.
The device is
called an Oxygen Destroyer, and it is capable of removing all the “O” from H20. It works like the world’s worst
Alka-Seltzer. All of the fish inside
that tank were quickly dissolved.
However, I did notice that a large amount of water still remained in the
tank. If all the oxygen had been removed
then instead of water this tank should simply be filled with H2. Now I’m not a scientist but H2 is
simply a molecule of hydrogen and it really shouldn’t look like water. But maybe the Mythbusters can tackle this item for us - we’ve still got Godzilla
to deal with.
Fish in Dr.
Serizawa’s possession have a shorter shelf life than the critters in the tanks
at Red Lobster on Good Friday. With
nothing more to prove and his love life in disarray, Dr. Serizawa is talked
into using his device on Godzilla. A
boat is readied, Dr. Serizawa, Ogata, and Emiko are front and center to wage an
assault on Godzilla. Steve Martin is
along for the ride, observing from the sidelines as our faithful reporter-hero
has been trained to do. Dr. Serizawa
dons a heavy diving bell suit and descends into Tokyo Bay
looking for Godzilla. The Oxygen
Destroyer is activated as Godzilla awakens from his nap and approaches over
some underwater hills. Dr. Serizawa’s
only faithful love is the science of invention, so he cuts his safety line and
embraces the Oxygen Destroyer as Godzilla moves in for the kill. Much like the active ingredient in Scrubbing
Bubbles, the bubbles do the scrubbing so the people of Japan don’t have to.
Godzilla’s skin is
dissolved…and then his bones melt away, as Steve Martin finalizes his Story of
the Century…
“People of the
World, Godzilla is dead!”
Final Thoughts
Just that fast,
the movie is over! Apparently in 1956
cleaning out a theater and ushering in the next audience took the place of
fussy production-value details like allowing a movie to conclude with any form
of dramatic pacing. This abrupt end
becomes a staple of pretty much all Kaiju Eiga.
Once the monster has been vanquished, don’t blink, or you’ll find that
the movie has completely wrapped up and the lights have been turned on and
you’re being asked to leave. (This is
awkward and unsettling if you happen to be watching the movie at home…)
Godzilla: King of the Monsters! is a
better movie than I remembered from my youth.
As a child I was always more enamored with the Godzilla movies that
included multiple monsters, or those that incorporated a “vs.” in the
title. For a movie that essentially
revolves around a man in a rubber-monster suit, Godzilla has a gravity that you seldom experience in Kaiju
Eiga. Certainly the aftermath of the
atomic bombs helps maintain the serious message about man’s tampering with
forces beyond his control and the unforeseen calamity that may erupt years later. It’s a cryptic message that was also touched
upon in Them! (See Bonus Review #2 –
and, where do they get off stealing that exclamation point?) When a Kaiju-centered movie handles a
gripping message this deftly, it alters the overall experience in a good way. When a Kaiju movie completely stumbles with
the message and beats you over the head with it, you end up with a piece of
junk called Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster.
Truly, Godzilla: King of the Monsters! is a
solid movie. The laughter is solely
gained from the inclusion of the extra scenes of Raymond Burr’s character (and
the original filmmakers had nothing to do with that) and with his overall
impotence throughout the proceedings. I
am embarrassed to admit I have never seen the original Gojira. I should watch it
sometime since I do own it, but my love for the Americanized version and the
nostalgia it provides tend to override my need to experience the original uncut
film.
With my praise of
this movie complete, several questions still linger.
What happened to the fishing industry in Japan? If Serizawa’s Oxygen Destroyer removed all of
the oxygen from the water, certainly enough to dissolve both Godzilla and
himself, it stands to reason that millions of fish were equally killed. I would have to imagine the price of sushi
went through the roof.
How did Dr. Serizawa get that eye-patch? For a mild-mannered, fish-killing scientist,
Serizawa sports some real tough-guy eye-wear.
Was he formerly with the military?
Or is this a result of his patented bad lab etiquette? After all, you never see the good doctor put
on even one set of safety glasses.
Where will Steve Martin’s globe-trotting
reporting take him next? What
adventures await his causal observations from the sideline? Does he turn into one of those annoying
people who simply sit around the newsroom talking about Godzilla? I imagine that when Neil Armstrong took his
first steps on the moon, Martin was sitting in front of a TV with the other
employees at the United World News and telling everyone, “That’s pretty
impressive, it reminds me of the time Godzilla destroyed Tokyo and I was there to see it
firsthand.” Inevitably this would be met
by eye rolling from his cohort who must endure this story on a weekly basis.
Finally the big
question is: Will Godzilla ever return?
I feel comfortable
in saying that, thanks to Dr. Serizawa’s brilliance and his personal sacrifice,
the people of Japan
are now safe and have nothing more to fear from any form of giant monster.
Kaiju Rule 1: Monsters must destroy things for your entertainment.
Excellent. Godzilla does a solid amount of destruction!
Kaiju Rule 2: Laughing out loud is mandatory.
Average. Although this is the most serious entry for
Kaiju Eiga, chuckles can still be found thanks to Steve Martin’s interactions
with people who clearly exist in another movie.
Kaiju Rule 3: You must be entertained at all times.
Excellent. There’s plenty going on with Godzilla: King of the Monsters! that
even Kaiju Eiga newbies or non-fans will be entertained.
YOUR KAIJU EIGA
CHECKLIST:
GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS!
How accurate is the title?: Since Godzilla started the entire Kaiju
Eiga genre, the title is 100% accurate.
Godzilla is in the movie, and based on the damage he does he makes a
strong case for both being called King of
the Monsters and for claiming eternal use of all exclamation marks after
the title.
Original Japanese Title: Gojira
One Sentence Synopsis: The horrors of atomic radiation spawn
Godzilla, who unleashes his own brand of horror on the people of Tokyo before they
successfully melt him.
Our Moral Message: The use of nuclear powered weapons may unleash
disastrous monsters upon society.
Kaiju entrance: Godzilla appears over a mountainside and
roars. Villagers of Odo Island
stop and take many pictures, thus ensuring stereotypes that will persist for
decades.
Good Kaiju: None
Bad Kaiju: Godzilla
Kaiju Timeline: First entry into Japanese Kaiju Eiga.
First line of dialogue when people see Kaiju: “Look at the size of
those footprints.”
Kaiju firsts: Godzilla meets Tokyo. Godzilla attacks Tokyo and levels towers, buildings, the
mobile military, and pretty much everything in his path. “There goes Tokyo”…indeed. Godzilla meets Raymond Burr (a sizable US
acting import).
How bad is the situation?: “It’s big and terrible and more
frightening than I thought possible.”
Best intended moment of the movie: Godzilla’s Tokyo attack, which levels at least fifty
percent of the city and is capped with the “F-U” bridge flip.
Best accidental moment of the movie: Godzilla decides to take precision
aim at one lone police car. The
explosion kills several officers one of whom dies with a girlish scream (the
Anti-Wilhelm Scream if you will). Look
for it at 53:47.
Single most quotable line of dialogue: “You have your fear, which
might become reality, and you have Godzilla which is reality.”
Best action moment: When fifty percent of Tokyo becomes property “Ready to Build.”
Total amount of destruction: Flaming boats sunk, wrecked train,
burned tanks, radio towers toppled, electrical towers ripped low, and
skyscrapers that drop faster than you can say “Jenga!”
Body count: Off-screen, thousands.
On-screen, people get burned alive and several unwillingly plummet to
their deaths or are buried under rubble.
Dr. Serizawa melts. Godzilla
melts.
Last line of dialogue: “The menace was gone, so was a great man,
but the whole world could wake up and live again.”
Kaiju exit: Godzilla’s nap is ruined by the Oxygen Destroyer, which
melts his skin and then dissolves his bones.
Tough to bounce back from this one.
I have been actively writing. My second volume of There Goes Tokyo! reviews will be completed by the end of summer (then it's editing and formatting time) and if all goes well should be available for purchase by the conclusion of 2015. This collection covers the Heisei Series, Millennium Series, and more. There's over thirty reviews total and I made sure that this summer's Jurassic World made it into the book. Nothing like sitting in a dark theatre frantically taking notes while eating a pretzel and attempting to enjoy an Icee. I know at one point a man in the row behind me looked over my shoulder with a, "What the hell is this guy taking notes for? Is there going to be a test?"-expression on his face.
Aside from TGT2, I have also been working on my first novella. This one will clock in around 150-pages and, trust me, it's a bloody affair. It'll be under my Late Night Horrors collection and should be available also before the end of calendar year 2015. I can't share much about it other than the title - A TALE OF TWO MONSTERS. I know there's a full-length novel in me, but I'm baby-stepping my way toward it. Writing this novella as certainly taught me plenty since the concept was originally going to be a short story but as ballooned into a much larger work that I think is a real grabber for fan's who like scares, violence, vampires, and...did I mention blood?
That said, years ago I read Susanna Clarke's book Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell. The book received high praise from people and I was excited to delve into the world of English Magic. Needless to say, I did not like the book. I wrote a review and explained my position. I never said her writing was bad, that the effort was better served as being published on a blog for free, or that anyone who liked the book was an idiot. Simply put, I did not like the book.
