Godzilla Pentagonal Feature! (Yep 5 of them!)

As a child I relied on the Saturday afternoon Creature Feature on Channel 20 or Monster Week on the 4 O'Clock movie to get my Godzilla-Fix.  I used to love the weekly marathons that inevitably ended with Friday's showing of Destroy All Monsters.  But as I grew I seemed to drift apart from Japan's truest fixture of cinematic entertainment.

Thanks to the technology of 2012 (namely Netflix Instant or the DVR), I've been able to reconnect with the lovable atomic fueled giant lizard.  Over the past few days I engulfed myself in GHIDORAH THE THREE HEADED MONSTER (1964), GODZILLA VS. MONSTER ZERO (1965), GODZILLA'S REVENGE (1969), THE TERROR OF MECHAGODZILLA (1976), and GODZILLA, MOTHRA, GHIDORAH: GIANT MONSTERS ALL-OUT ATTACK! (2001)



Ghidorah looks tough. 
Thank goodness Godzilla has
that larvae as his tag-team
partner!

I won't bore you with long winded reviews that delve too deeply into plots.  The Godzilla franchise never really seems to pay homage to their own movies.  Characters, plots, storylines, timelines, history, origins, who is good and who is evil...it's all just window-dressing.  Godzilla seems to stumble from picture to picture not sure if he's a friend to children or whether it's time for the people of Tokyo to get their annual wake up call so insurance adjusters can all declare bankruptcy.  And, suffice to say, when you plant a grade on a Godzilla movie...you have to understand the category of movie we're talking about.  An A+ for a Godzilla movie is probably akin to a 'C' for standard fare so please...don't breathe atomic fire onto this genre enthusiast of Japanese cinema blogger.


1) GHIDORAH, THE THREE-HEADED MONSTER seems to have an awful lot of confusing plot for a standard monster movie.  All I remember is that it all eventually boils down to Godzilla, Mothra (the larvae version), and Rodan battling things out with the title character.  In the midst of this we get a princess with amnesia, a supposed history of Mars, a meteor monster egg, and some running, chasing, and shooting from a variety of human characters that I couldn't keep straight.  Whenever the monsters weren't on screen...I was underenthused.  And I guess I should note that if that damn larvae wasn't around, Ghidorah would have won because apparently Godzilla and Rodan don't live up to the hype when they're a tag team!  Grrr....  Godzilla Rating - 4 smashed buildings out of 10.

2) GODZILLA VS. MONSTER ZERO...OK now things get moving.  We're back to Mars only this time humans are traveling there and back...and there again.  Apparently Ghidorah is back on Mars and causing some real estate issues (Tokyo breathes a sigh of relief).  Earth (or really Japan and one token American) decide to send Godzilla and Rodan to help the martians out.  But it's all just a ploy so the monsters can be turned against us.  Luckily that one American figures it out...and along with the nerdy Japanese lab guy they set things right so Godzilla and Rodan can pummel Ghidorah, who is called Monster Zero even though he has three heads?  Shouldn't it be Monster Three?

Mars stops by to pick up Godzilla and Rodan.

    I enjoyed this offering more than the previous entry.  I found it amusing that the American actor was actually speaking his lines in English (even though he was dubbed you can clearly see that he's saying the same words...and that all the Japanese actors are merely waiting for a pause so they can deliver their lines...since they have no clue what the hell he's really saying).  It was nice that the martians decided they didn't really need Mothra.  Seriously, what drugged out screenwriter decided that a giant moth larvae would be a good monster? 
     There's also two classic moments for laughter in this entry.  First, upon defeating Ghidorah the first time Godzilla decides to dance The Jig, lots of foot work required for the big green guy...and some joyous jumping.  While watching him on a monitor the martian leader can't help but say, "Ah yes, a truly happy moment!"  Second, when the American hero (how did that ever fly in Japan) and his fiance return home, the martians are waiting for them.  In what amounts to the world's longest disintigration blast the hero watches his true love dissolve before his eyes.  His response, "YOU RATS!  YOU DIRTY STINKING RATS!"  Godzilla Rating - 6.5 smashed skyscrapers out of 10.

This picture will probably be on my Christmas
cards this year.

3) GODZILLA'S REVENGE!!!! ...wow!  This thing must have been an after-school special or something.  The movie focuses on this little fat kid who is bullied, lonely, and has far too strong of an imagination.  His no-show parents enjoy letting him spend too much time with an elderly chain-smoking neighbor, and over rice (naturally) they talk about monsters.  When Short Round goes home he appranently has a bad trip from the mushrooms Smokey mixed in with the rice and dreams of visiting Monster Island where he watches Godzilla fight The Sea Monster and a giant spider (both simply stock footage from other movies.  Then in what has to be the single funniest moment in the history of this franchise, the fat bellied lad ends up striking up a conversation with Minya (Godzilla's son) who, of course is also bullied by a big monster named Gabbra.
     Wimpy watches Minya solve his problems with a lot of biting and growling.  Then when his "trip" ends he finds out he's being kidnapped by some local thieves.  Folks, I am not making this up.  He fights the crooks off by biting and growling like a monster.  Then at the end he uses these same techniques on the local bullies...and the movies ends a few minutes before this Little Monster is obviously committed.  Godzilla Rating - 2 smashed outhouses out of 10 (solely because I laughed for two hours when this travesty finally ended).  In retrospect, I'm not really sure about that title either.  What exactly was Godzilla's Revenge?  Was it his revenge to train this annoying kid and turn him loose on the children of Tokyo?  Or is his revenge going to take place on the film-makers who greenlit this movie and practically turned the big green guy into a contestant on Celebrity Big Brother just to keep his name in the spotlight...?


A cool retro art poster.

4) THE TERROR OF MECHA-GODZILLA is the movie that my friend considers the pinnacle of the Godzilla franchise.  It's pretty good.  In a rare ode to the series, this movie actually plays as a sequel to the previous entry Godzilla vs. Mecha-Godzilla.  It involves more creepy bad guys controlling monsters and rebuilding the tituar character.  The music in this entry is solid.  Godzilla has a dynamite introduction about 45 minutes into the movie when he has to deliver a serious ass-kicking to some D-rate monster named Titanosaurous.  Then the two Godzilla duke it out.  Godzilla swims away, presumably to Monster Island to check on that fat kid, victorious at the end...of course one year later Star Wars showed up in movie theatres so immediately this entire series seemed dated and Godzilla pretty much stayed on that island for quite a while.  Godzilla Rating - 7 smashed bridges out of 10.

I like this poster.
The Japanese symbols really add
to the atmosphere of it.
Overall, a good movie too!

5) GODZILLA, MOTHRA, GHIDORAH: GIANT MONSTERS ALL-OUT ATTACK!  This movie caught me by surprise.  It started out pretty much throwing away the entire history of the Godzilla franchise except for the original movie (and a sligh joke about the god awful US version).  Godzilla shows up and he's 100% evil.  Luckily Earth has the three-guardian monsters...Baragon, Mothra (again!?), and Ghidorah (fighting on the side of angels this time).  Now the three guardians are here to protect us...but that doesn't mean that humans and property aren't going to get a whole lot of flat before this opus is done.
     The effects in this movie walk a fine line between looking cool...and real hokey.  Literally it depends on the camera angle.  The characters are ridiculous, but the joy comes because the film makers realize this...and pretty much wipe out the entire cast.  There are some awesome deaths in this movie that had me gut busting because I just couldn't believe they were delivering them.  When you see a wounded girl in a hospital...nope...can't spoil it...suffice to say, the entire hospital goes down hard.  The battles with Godzilla and each of the monsters are well filmed, although for such a big deal I thought Ghidorah came off like a bit of a wimp, and even Mothra has a couple of grand moments which made me smile.  And frankly, that's what happened when I was watching this movie.  I started smiling and for that the Godzilla Rating - 8 smashed hospitals out of 10.  The title don't lie.  Once the monsters start showing up and the all-out attacking gets going, there's some great entertainment to be had.

Revisiting Batman (1989) & Batman Returns (1992)!

With all the hype about The Dark Knight Rises this summer, and the fact that I have been toiling away determing my Top 10 superhero movies of all time, it seemed like an appropriate time to revisit the first two entries into the Batman franchise.  Aside from brief glimpses on TV, I haven't seen Batman or Batman Returns in at least 10-15 years.  To help put this in perspective, when I went looking for both movies I didn't even have them on DVD.  Down in the basement in a dusty old VHS cabinet is where both movies were residing.  I promptly placed Batman into my VCR and was instantly greeted with a Diet Coke commerical.  Talk about a flashback to the 90's!  Mind you this was NOT a bootleg copy.  I purchased my VHS tape from Suncoast for $19.95 or so when it was released and part of that low cost at the time was helped by Coke putting a commercial at the start of the movie.  Grrrr!  I hate commercials which is why (unlike Mrs. Jumper) I never watch movies on commercial TV.  Thankfully Batman Returns didn't repeat this blunder although the movie was a blunder unto itself.  In watching both movies I was thankful for technology and the advent of DVD and HDTV because VHS images stink!  I had to stop Batman 15 minutes into the movie and move my TV to run a new cord hooking up my VCR in a better manner to try and milk just a slightly better picture quality.

I have no intentions of providing any form of story synopsis for either movie.  If you haven't seen them, stop reading and earn your "genre-enthusiast credentials" and go watch them...and then return.

During the summer of 1989 I worked at a movie theatre and had the pleasure of seeing Batman some thirty or more times.  In fact the joys of being a theatre employee meant I saw the movie a day before the masses.  The added bonus was my good friend was the projectionist so he hooked the movie up so that both he and I had an entire theatre to watch it alone (kind of like a giant living room) while the rest of the employees were all drunk and rowdy somewhere else.  Batman did it's job.  It returned respect and greatness to the superhero franchise, something that had been utterly destroyed because of Superman III and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.  Audiences and expecatations were sky high for Batman and the movie solidly delivered.  Even today watching it on my lousy VHS copy, I was entertained.

Batman gets alot right.  The look of Gotham City is solid.  Keaton's Batman is great (one of the best to date...and to think how the fanboys were up-in-arms about his casting).  Nicholson's Joker is stellar (and although I prefer the creep factor of Ledger's) and it feels like he's come directly from the comic books.  The Joker is spooky and yet funny.  I had forgotten some of his solid lines so even in 2012 they managed to coax and smile or guffaw out of me.  The joy-buzzer scorching of rival mobster Torreli has always been a treat.  The origin stories for both Batman and Joker are well delivered.  Batman is allowed to do action, use detective skills, show off technology, and basically be a cool hero in a cool movie.  My grade for Batman back in 1989 was a solid "A+".  Today I'd rank it a solid "A-" (but it's still not cracking my Top 10 Hero Flicks of all time).

The only real issues I have with 1989's Batman are the characters of Alexander Knox and Vicki Vale.  Knox (or more appropriately Robery Wuhl) is just annoying.  Nothing made me happier than when he was written out of any sequels.  Vicki Vale is shallow, goes immediately for millionaire Bruce Wayne and spend far too much time screaming or "oohing"...I lost count around twenty times!  My other main issue with the movie is the sets.  Clearly Gotham City is on a soundstage.  No matter how scenes are filmed...it feels tight.  The Batmobile drives by the same locales too often and there are times where I felt clautrophobia.  There's something to be said about taking the time to film scenes outside...it adds dimension.  Finally, even though Batman looks cool...watching it today you can see how heavy and clunky that costume is.  No way is anyone fighting crime wearing that cumbersome outfit.

In 1992 Batman Returns hit theatres.  The posters hyping the movie were awful but the previews helped build up excitement.  By this time I was a paying customer so no more free rides or multiple viewings.  I hated the movie!  Even after numerous rewatches the film should really be called BATMAN: FIGHTS FOR SCREEN TIME.  The movie is a mess with far too many villains and none with any form of coherent plans.  The Penguin looks decent but his storyline is a muddled mess.  The character of Max Schreck takes up far too much of the story and truly only exists to combine the plotlines of Penguin and Catwoman.  As much as people still swoon over Michelle Pffeifer's portrayal as Selina Kyle and Catwoman...I don't get it.  The costume is silly, her lines are atrocious...OK she can swing a mean whip...but that's about it.

The only real plus with Batman Returns is that Tim Burton progressed as a director.  The camera is more fluid which makes all of the action sequences more interesting.  Batman is allowed to do more in his fights/chases as well...and the suit seems a bit more mobile (sorta).

Of course with the one plus out of the way, the rest is all negative.  The sets issues are still present as Gotham City feels more confined than ever and we don't even get one or two landscape shots to show us what the place looks like as a whole.  The lines that the characters delivers are horrible!  Everyone is fighting to have a funny quip, even Batman - "Eat floor!  High fiber!"  It gets exhausting to listen to, much like reading a Dan Slott comic book where the only motivation for every character is to be funnier than the previous character.  When this happens there is no gravity to the plot or world that the characters engage in.  An hour into watching Batman Returns I felt my patience dying off...by the end I was thankful when the credits rolled.  And before I'm labeled a "hater" let me say that I wanted to like this movie!  Every time I see it and Keaton first stands up in front of the Bat-Signal, I'm ready to be taken on a thrill ride...unfortunately much like the Penguin's self-built Batmobile Ride, this ride only makes me sick to my stomach.  My grade for Batman Returns back in 1992 was a "C-".  Today I would rank this movie an "F"...but since I know Batman & Robin is still around the corner I'll push it up to a "D".

Maxing Out for MAD MAX!

The most iconic image of Mad Max!

I've been burned by pre-movie hype and excitement so many times that the neurons responsible for those feelings have melted away. Movies that should have been stellar (especially based on my pre-excitement levels) like: Robocop 2, Batman Returns, Alien 3, and The Lost World: Jurassic Park thoroughly did so much damage that a "wait and see" attitude was firmly locked into place in my psyche. And now, one movie is furiously working to chip away at my emotional movie void...MAD MAX: FURY ROAD.

The poster that I had wanted for close to
25 years and finally received in 2010.

To understand my connection to this franchise you have to go back to cable TV circa 1983-1987 when The Road Warrior was pretty much on a continual late night loop on HBO and Cinemax...not to mention the VHS copy that inevitably was ruined from slo-moing the final wreckage scene just to watch the dummy of the Humungus slide over the semi's hood. Safe to say that I watched Road Warrior LOTS! It has a special fondness as well since my father and I were sitting around the living room at 9pm on a Sunday when Road Warrior premiered on HBO. Neither of us knew anything about it and there we sat totally entertained for two hours. Watching bullets and arrows flying, bodies being ripped apart and run over, cars being crushed and burned, and a 20-minute semi chase that was a marvel (and still is) to behold!  It wasn't long before I sought out the original Mad Max and then the sequel Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. Then when my best friend introduced me to a role-playing game called Car Wars, I had a new avenue to channel my love for the Mad Max movies.

The most mindless RPG ever!
Nothing better than successfully performing
The Bootleg Reverse!

Even people who are not fans of the Mad Max franchise should realize how engrained these three movies are in the public conscious. Any time a movie depicts automobiles that have been decorated with various spike and weapons...people go..."Oh, that's like Mad Max." When you watch any post-apocalyptic movie and people use football and hockey pads for personal armor...Mad Max is where it started. The term "Thunderdome" gets used all the time in TV, sports announcing, and various movies and most people will immediately make the connection as to what is being implied whether they realize the origin...Mad Max.

When Internet searching "Thunderdome" here was my favorite result...

That bad-ass cage where Mel Gibson faught Master Blaster with the chainsaw and bungee cords and there where all kinds of drunken Aussies yelling, "Two men enter, One man leaves."

The "Last of the V-8 Interceptors"...?

So, as I write this creator-director George Miller as finally begun filming is oft-delayed next Mad Max movie: FURY ROAD. The movie will star Tom Hardy (fresh from his role as Bane in The Dark Knight Rises) taking over the Max Rockatansky character from Mel Gibson. The movie will co-star a shit-ton of tripped out cars in spectacular chases and monstrous wrecks! As photos have begun leaking of the various vehicles, my excitement builds. As rumors circulate that there may indeed be a new restored "Last V-8 Interceptor", I find a smile creeping across my face. As I see interviews where George Miller stresses the need for practical effects instead of CGI, all I can think is "YES!" It'll be a long haul for me to wait out the release of this movie, and mixed with the excitement will also be a heavy dose of trepidation since there were probably a thousand ways this movie can go bad and only one way it can be done correctly. The three pictures below (from AICN) help keep my confidence levels high that this movie is progressing in the right direction.

I'd have to guess that this is the car of the main bad guy...
equipped with his theme music of course.

Another suped up semi!  Nothing wrong with that.

Shots like this harken back to The Road Warrior in a great way!

There's a reason I'm a true fan of the franchise. I love the character, the settings, the cars, and the high octane action that George Miller has been able to deliver. The movies don't try to deliver any social commentary or appeal to a wide demographic.  They're essentially Man with No Name Westerns but instead of horses there's healthy amounts of nitrous and turbo-chargers.  If you like action and carnage (and what American male doesn't?) then the Mad Max films are the perfect avenue for escape.  My man-cave has a framed Road Warrior poster adorning it because it's one of the most bad ass movies ever made! And MAD MAX: FURY ROAD could be one hell of a movie!

Road House and YOU! Life Lessons for Every Generation!

Recently my cable box has been aflame with showings of Road House.  The movie is like a rash on every channel akin to The Beastmaster in the 1980's.  Naturally I've watched the movie pretty much everytime it's flashed in front of my eyes.  In those hundreds of viewings it's dawned on me that there's some pretty serious life lessons that the movie is furiously working to impart upon the viewer.

One can say that Road House is a perfect primer for all father’s to show their sons (BE A MAN 101 if you will).  The movie flawlessly explores thousands of teachable moments while maintaining an outwardly appearance that it is nothing more than a simple modern day western about a “not so big” philosopher cleaning up a local watering hole.

What can your child expect to garner from sitting down and watching Road House?  Here’s just a sampling of the educational opportunities contained in this cinematic powerhouse:

1) Entrepreneurship – not everyone was made to be a CEO, some of us have to use the knuckle-busting philosophical skills that God gave us.  $5,000 down, $500 a night, and all medical expenses covered is an excellent start!

2)  Real Estate – never build your quaint farmhouse on the opposite side of the river from the town’s helicopter owning psychotic.  You and your horses are just asking for trouble.

3)  Fashion – what do you do with that old picnic tablecloth if you’re a high paid doctor?  Well turn it into a dress and then go down for some swill at the town’s worst bar…of course. (OK, not every father has a son...so this one's for the daughter's out there)

4)  Automobiles – all bouncers own BMW’s – FACT!

5)  Auto-Finance – the best day to get a loan for your new BMW is the same day the local tuffs drive a monster-truck through the auto dealership.  Commission and paperwork tend to be reduced in importance for a few hours so you should be driving off the lot with your new car and a low rate in no time.

6)  Social Etiquette – “Be nice”.  When a guy comes at you and says, “I used to &*%$ guys like you in prison!”  You have two options…one of them is obviously the throat rip.

7)  Romance – not anyone can charm a girl into removing her clothes and immediately striking a submissive position by delivering lines like, “Oh baby, you gonna be my regular Saturday night!”  But with practice and patience…it’ll happen.

8)  Ballet-Kwon-Do – a seldom practiced martial art that involves kicking and prancing with your toes straight.  Fights often explode into well choreographed encounters that both inflict damage to your opponent and keep them entertained at the same time.

9)  Home Décor – nothing spices up a riverfront property like a room filled with stuffed safari (aka poaching) kills ranging from antelopes to lions to the various body parts of people that didn’t agree with you.  The topper is always the polar bear…find yours and kill it while in your 20’s to maximize the number of years of enjoyment it will bring you.

10)  Shotguns – the best way to return a town to peace and tranquility - the pump action.

It is the civic responsibility of all people to be sure that the next generation learn these and all lessons imparted by Road House to help hone a better society.  For those interested in going the more literary route, I also recommend the books: COWARDS & BLEEDERS AND HOW TO REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR FRONT LAWN by Brad Wesley and THE TOURIST'S GUIDE TO JASPER: “OUR TOWN AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!” by Tilghman, Stroudermire, Emmett, and Webster.

Death Sports and THE HUNGER GAMES

So, The Hunger Games is the latest book to "catch fire" amongst teen readers and then spread into the must read territory for adults.  The movie is surely going to add to the fervor as well (to which movie theatres across the country are singing praises - I've never seen so many smiling faces of theatre employees in my life).  I've read the book and I've seen the movie.  Both are quite well done...but in the end they don't add anything new to the Death Sport category of science fiction.  Ok, The Hunger Games adds a Twilight-esque love triangle...but beyond that it's simple.  There's a government demanded game in which contestants kill other contestants and only the winner will survive.

My favorite book of all time is Stephen King's (writing as Richard Bachman) THE LONG WALK. It is an incredible work that plunges the reader into a harrowing death sport of long distance pace-walking. Sounds simple and dull and yet...the journey is so powerful that you can feel the agony of every bloody step and each deadly bullet right along with the 100 contestants who are forced to endure the sport of the nation. My original review on Amazon:

I find it ironic that perhaps Stephen King's greatest story is written under his pseudonym and also one of the books few people have heard about. It's arguably my favorite novel - ever - and also holds the distinction of the book I have read the most (and the only story that has made me physically ill).

The Long Walk is a superb sci-fi story that pits 100 teen boys against each other in a seemingly never-ending marathon death sport. How exciting can the act of walking be? VERY! King masterfully unfolds a story with three-dimensional characters and an intricate duality about the nature of death between the contestants and the audience who cheers every step on their march.

Fans of the genre may also like to read the Japanese cult novel BATTLE ROYALE which takes a distinctly different (and more extreme) take on child death sports. For anyone reading this novel for the first time, I'm envious...enjoy the walk.

King also mined the death sport genre for another book THE RUNNING MAN which took a similar stance of a mind-numbed society being controlled by the government's need for brutal sport.  This lead to the 1980's Schwarzennegger movie under the same title (and that's the only thing the two stories have in common).  The movie was hailed as pretty much the death of the 80's action genre, complete with an overindulgence of one liners when a villain was dispatched ("Ah, he was a real pain in the neck!").  Japanese author Koushun Takami's book BATTLE ROYALE is a take on death sports being played out amongst teenagers by a fascist government.  The novel is outstanding and delves deeply into the lives and backgrounds of the majority of teens forced to compete on a remote island.  If you haven't read or seen the movie both are now readily available in the US.  All three of the novels I mentioned stand high on the list of the deathsport genre and should be sought out by anyone who enjoys the premise of The Hunger Games.

Back to THE HUNGER GAMES, the story doesn't add anything new to the genre all of the familiar deathsport elements are present: fascist government, contestants forced to play, rules change, one survivor, violent deaths...checks all around.  I think one of the reasons the story has taken off is because for once a female has been planted into the lead role and Katniss Everdeen is a strong protagonist.  The story doesn't pull punches either...there is death...and Katniss plays a hand in the killing.  As with any book that pulls in young readers there is a camp of whiners out there jonesing to spoil the fun by chastising the violence and saying that it is not appropriate for teens.  These are the kind of "pro-readers" who only want you to read what they enjoy.  Ignore that camp!  While you won't find anything too original in the story, you will find a solid amount of entertainment.  As with all books, the novel is stronger and allows for a better overall development of situations.  The movie though comes in a close second and only has minor stumbles of pacing in the setup and in the finale, but it'll be a well earned blockbuster and I'm sure the sequel is right around the corner.

THE HUNGER GAMES (the novel) = A

THE HUNGER GAMES (the movie) = A-

ASSEMBLE! (May 4 will be EPIC!)

The years from 1980-1987 were the pinnacle of my comic book collecting.  I'd first been exposed to comics through the 1960's era Spider-Man cartoons (heavily replayed on Channel 20 as a child) and then my mother would buy me comic books like Marvel Team-Up, The Invaders, and The Avengers as I grew.  I was flipping through comic books before I could even read.  The colors, costumes, and unique heroes and superpowers thoroughly captivated my imagination.

Through middle school and high school I would discuss with other friends the various "goings on" in the titles we read and the large scope of both the Marvel and DC Universes.  From 1980-1987 the only real superhero movies of note that genre enthusiasts could appreciate were Superman the Movie (on VHS) and the release of Superman II (in the theatres).  Any other offerings didn't solidly connect with the world of comic books.  Sure, Superman II came close with a battle between Kryptonians...but let's face it...Richard Lester's ham-handed humor ruined that movie - "Huh, Superman didn't even do nothing!", guy on roller-skates, guy talking on phone during Metropolis fall, ad infinitum.  Two years beyond my key bubble in collecting Tim Burton's Batman would be released (1989) and change things forever between comic books and the cinema.

During those eight years I remember debating if and when an Avengers movie would ever be made?  Frankly, it seemed more likely that I would stumble upon Thor's Uru Hammer than actually see the comic book versions of Marvel's top tier heroes on the big screen.  And yet, in 2012 that is exactly what will happen.  As a fan three books really have always cried out to be turned into movies.

1. X-Men...I've never been a fan (although First Class was a solid apology for the first three lackluster efforts)
2. Watchmen...the greatets superhero work ever created and a perfect movie!  I know it has haters, but for me, this is always going to be #1 from comic-to-film
3.  Avengers...dare to dream...

I'm an adult and I will admit that I have watched, rewatched, and analysed the preview for Avengers far too much (at times frame-by-frame).  It seems clear that the majority of the movie will borrow much of the material from Mark Millar's Ultimates Volume II (which is an awesome read).  That storyline focused on Loki and the Skrulls (both of whom seem to appear in the new movie).  From my dissection of the preview I see the envitable Iron-Man, Captain America, Thor confrontation...no doubt perpetrated by Loki.  I see a city battle which will most likely be the first half of the movies climax (I believe the actual climax is being hidden).  There's some sort of battle between Black Widow and Hawkeye (look for the shot of her kicking...it's clearly the archer on the receiving end) which means one of them will be a Skrull for a time.  Plenty of drama with Loki and a nice verbal retort from Nick Fury "You have made me VERY desperate." And the Hulk gets to kick ass and save the team...more than once.  At the end we see some enormous spaceship (or as some fans have speculated the Midgard Dragon)...whatever it is...it looks cool.  Then there's the money shot of arguably the 7 greatest heroes to ever work as Avengers encircled and preparing to do what they do best...save the Earth!  Somewhere my childhood self is jumping for joy at the true "marvel" that is happening.  The Avengers will be on the big screen!

So basically 25 years after the peak of my collecting life, what may be viewed as the ultimate comic book movie is on the horizon.  I'm excited!  Most likely I'll be sharing some of my favorite Avengers moments in coming blogs to build up to this event.  But until then go read Ultimates Vol 1 and 2, watch the preview on my blog, and be prepared for an explosion of coolness. 

And then I'll see you at the theatres on May 4th!  AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!!

JOHN CARTER - An "I saw that" Review

This week I had the opportunity to see an advance screening of John Carter (formerly “of Mars” until Mars Needs Mom ruined the title).  It’s been ages since I managed to score attendance to any sort of early showing of a new movie.  The last two I can remember were Dawn of the Dead and Open Water.  One is one of my all time favorite horror movies and the other was a novel idea that resulted in a somewhat decent if overall bland movie.

As for John Carter…and I’ll keep this spoiler free…

I went into the movie knowing nothing of the character or the concept beyond the fact that the original stories were written by Edgar Rice Burroughs (of Tarzan fame) and centered around an Earth man who winds up on Mars.  The movie clocked in a tad over two hours and I can confidently report that I had a fun time and was treated to an original sci-fi outing.  There’s far more set-up than I was expecting as in the first fifteen minutes we planet-jump and time jump several times until we firmly begin on Earth in 1866.  Through an interesting (and not fully explained) concept a former Union soldier finds himself teleported to Mars, where thanks to the lesser gravity he is gifted with powerful limbs that allow him superior strength and the ability to leap vast distances in single bounds.  Quite quickly he finds himself mired in the war between various factions on Mars, some that look human and others that look…Martian.

The movie plays so loose with actual science that I doubt the Myth Busters will ever be called into question to disprove anything that is portrayed on screen.  While some may scoff, I find myself having a fun time and embracing the “pulpy” vibe that was unfolding in front of me.  The CGI and visuals do harken to the Star Wars prequel movies…but since the source material was written 80-100 years before Star Wars…who was paying homage to whom?  Still, John Carter has time on Mars to learn the language and customs, to attempt a return to Earth (or Vasoom), to save a princess (and she is an incredible hottie), to form alliances with an alien species, to acquire a pet, to battle giant monsters in an arena, and to play a role in some large scale sci-fi battles.

I had a fun time at the movie.  In fact, I enjoyed John Carter enough to immediately come home and purchase a collection of the stories on my Kindle.  There’s an appreciation I have for unique science fiction that isn’t grounded in reality.  Of course, not everyone shares that love.  The audience I saw the movie with seemed split.  Some were along for the ride and others had the look of, “Is this movie over yet?” and “Why am I here?”  So I can easily see John Carter failing at the box office.  Luckily, in my age, I know longer feel the need to have box office success or love of the masses to determine a good movie from a bad.  Disney certainly hasn’t helped matters with their atrocious marketing campaign so it’s easy to see John Carter eventually holding ranks on my DVD shelves next to Flash Gordon, fun under-appreciated neighbors that would make an excellent double feature!

If my blog were more heavily trafficked by the movie studios looking for quotes then mine would be...

"JOHN CARTER is MARSvelous!" - barreljumper.com

Grade = A-

eBook Goals from 2011-2012

My first ebook went on sale yesterday.  It was a process that began in February 2011.  While reading some horror stories that I had downloaded on my Kindle during a snow storm, I began to get the urge to write again.  Now, from 1988-1994 I really wanted to have a novel published.  File cabinet drawers were overflowing with ideas, notes, and drafts.  Then, life and my career (which is not in writing) interfered.

In 1995 my love for movies took over and I spent the next five or six years toiling away on several screenplays.  My proto-type script for BATMAN TRIUMPHANT (which could have been the fourth Batman movie) still reads like a blockbuster…but alas the studio went with Batman & Robin…and we know how that turned out for them.  Breaking into Hollywood as a writer is pretty damn tough when you live in the Midwest.  Eventually I felt like I was writing more for my own enjoyment, and as less spec scripts were being purchased I shelved my work and pretty much gave up on writing (unless it was checks to pay bills).

As I said, 2011 hits and thanks to the ever expanding ebook market I was exposed to writers like Michael Crane and J.A. Konrath who both showed that the days of needing a publisher were over.  Thanks to technology writers could seemingly get a good idea uploaded onto the infinite space of the Internet where it would be available forever.  Well, that sounded easy so I returned to the keyboard.  During those first three months I toiled away on numerous horror short stories that would make up a collection I planned to call SIMPLE EVIL.  I was pleased that for the most part my speed in taking ideas and putting them to word hadn’t diminished too much.  My characterization and dialogue were also strong.  Grammar and use of commas…lacking.

The plan was to write a collection of 25 horror short stories.  Then the plan changed.

While writing, I came up with a flash-fiction (or flash fright as I prefer) tale called IN 5OO WORDS which dealt with a pretty foul-tempered piece of white trash who meets the Devil.  The tale would unfold in exactly 500 words.  The first problem was that 500 words wasn’t enough so eventually it expanded to 666 words…seeming to be a natural fit.

Creativity is a tricky thing.  For me inspiration is 99% of the battle.  If I’m inspired then I work to achieve my goal.  SIMPLE EVIL eventually morphed into the much better sounding LATE NIGHT HORRORS.  And with 15 stories complete and over 200 pages written I did what any maniac would do…I set it all aside to tackle a new project.

My inspiration drew me to the story IN 500 WORDS…now titled IN 666 WORDS.  In August 2011 I decided that an entire novella could be devoted to horror short stories that each neatly fit into exactly 666 words.

One year later and my goal was complete.  IN 666 WORDS is now available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Smash Words.  And before I return to my original project of LATE NIGHT HORRORS, there’s probably a lesson to teach regarding the important steps for anyone who wants to publish an ebook and thinks (as I did) that it will be an easy process.

That will be our next entry but until then...if you're interested in reading my first offering...links below...

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0077DR4PM

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/books/1108785364

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/131218